You’re offline. This is a read only version of the page.
Nicky Ball, Residences Welfare and Conduct Manager at King's College London, discusses her experiences of stress – the focus of this year's Mental Health Awareness Week – and how MHFA training has helped her both support students and look after her own wellbeing.
For as long as I can remember – people have labelled me a “worrier”. I remember my teachers saying it to my mum at parents evening at primary school. I remember my line manager mentioning it to me in a one-to-one at my first full time job. Even my best friend has always joked that I have always been. A worrier.
I tend to find the more I worry about things, the more my anxiety seeps in to new areas, making previously un-stressful things in my life suddenly seem overwhelming. This continues until my brain feels stuffed full to the brim with worry. As I have gotten older, it has occurred to me that my worrying is probably better described as being stressed - the hot topic of this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week campaign.
As a worrier, everything in life can become stressful. Work. Family. Relationships. University and study. Even exercise and food. But stress is something that touches all of our lives in one way or another. Ask the average person, ‘Is there anything in life stressing you out currently?’, and if I was the betting type (which I am not – I find it too stressful!), I bet you’d get a ‘yes’.
I certainly can’t speak for everyone, but after years and years of falling into stressful cycles, reaching boiling point and crashing into a state of tearful, critical self-reflection, I think I can finally put a pin in why I am the way I am when it comes to worrying. I am that person that wants it all. To be slim, fit, healthy, happy. To sleep eight hours a night, wake up, do some yoga. Read meaningful books. Excel at work. Be the perfect girlfriend. The model daughter. The best friend. To give back to society. Be that all-round, over-achieving, never-tiring, sparkly superstar.
I am a sucker for the beautiful images you see in magazines, social media, the television. I soak it up, berate myself for not having achieved that level of success, and then apply an unhealthy amount of pressure on myself to try more, push harder and be stricter. And it is completely exhausting.
Becoming aware of this has been one of the biggest stepping stones in my stress management journey. Learning to celebrate achieving 80% of what I wanted and not commiserating the fact I didn’t hit the perfect 100. Teaching myself to be happy and not to be perfect. This lesson has been key to learning to manage my stress and not let my stress manage me.
Accepting a job in the Residences Team at King’s College London has turned out to be another cornerstone of my journey. As an employer, King’s has completely surprised me with its unfailing commitment and provision of resources to support its staff and students’ mental health, something I hadn’t experienced in previous roles.
King’s has funded me to go on and teach myself more about mental health by becoming a Mental Health First Aid instructor for Mental Health First Aid England. Becoming a Mental Health First Aider as part of this has given time to explore and learn more about my own personal wellbeing. Many of the strategies and ideas used in this training have become my core daily rituals and have given me a whole new appreciation for looking after both myself and others. It’s instilled a passion in me to go on and educate others in mental health awareness and first aid – particularly to help improve the support on the ground in my community.
The stress students face while at university is both real and challenge to their wellbeing. The task of transitioning from home life and then to the workplace, coupled with the pressure to achieve, and the financial burden of loans and fees can all contribute to this. It’s true that stress is a part of life and can help to motivate us, but too much, too often and it can impact our mental health – something arguably reflected in the well-documented rise in mental ill health and suicide among students.
Working in the Residences Team, I experience this increase up-close. However, seeing students struggling with their mental health only fuels my passion to make a difference. There is a real need, and I believe urgency, for university staff to be alert, informed and prepared to take action when they recognise that a student is in distress and this is exactly what Mental Health First Aid training is all about. It gives people the knowledge and confidence to have those all-important conversations and signpost someone to the next level of support.
I believe we have a responsibility to build a safe environment for our students to succeed and to have the best university experience possible, despite the stresses and pressures it can bring. Improving basic mental health support is a fundamental part of building this supportive community and for me Mental Health First Aiders should be a key part of this.